Left Behind
To be widowered young was not something he bargained for although I, admittedly, thought that my brother-in-law would find it convenient in due time, knowing his meandering ways. I guess I thought wrong.
I saw him yesterday for a birthday celebration where I, walking into the patio, elicited audible gasps and a few astounded stares. Oh, of course, it was my newly short hair. 'You look so much like her ...', and indeed, I do. That was the first thing I noticed when I got a short haircut, quite resembling Susan's, which in her last years, was made forcibly but fashionably short due to intermittent chemo.
He hugged me and I turned to hug the children, three boys of 13, 8 and 3 years, these very people who meant the world to my sister. To my brother-in-law's credit, my nephews are looking good, belying the fact that they were bereft of mother only 14 months, certainly not too long for a grieving memory. Locked in my embrace, the boys yieldingly allowed my affection, smiling bravely and trying not to let on that they, for some reason, thought this to be a sad and regretful thing. But I knew. Ah, men. even at a young age, they are instinctively poised to hide their emotions. It must work for them.
My brother-in-law, relatively young, quite stable and now available, should not have difficulty easing back into the single life, as I thought would happen. Instead, he wears his loss about him like a badge that makes you want to keep distance and respect the mourning. And I don't blame him. My sister Susan was no ordinary woman -- beautiful, very smart, kind-hearted, funny, artistic and a mean cook , she was, among other things. I find her to be ambushing my thoughts these past two weeks, and now, I see her more and more as I look in the eyes of my middle, brooding, nephew, the one who looks like us, and who, she told me to particularly look after, shortly before she died.
Life goes on, surely, for all of us she left behind. Death, after all, happens every moment, everyday, to countless people like us who now have to cope with the loss and live on the spoils of memory. In time, the heaviness of heart will lighten, and the memories will fade. For now, we just have to do like the world revolved all along without her. Now, it does. And the hurting should come away. In time.
Filed Under: Mementoes
I saw him yesterday for a birthday celebration where I, walking into the patio, elicited audible gasps and a few astounded stares. Oh, of course, it was my newly short hair. 'You look so much like her ...', and indeed, I do. That was the first thing I noticed when I got a short haircut, quite resembling Susan's, which in her last years, was made forcibly but fashionably short due to intermittent chemo.
He hugged me and I turned to hug the children, three boys of 13, 8 and 3 years, these very people who meant the world to my sister. To my brother-in-law's credit, my nephews are looking good, belying the fact that they were bereft of mother only 14 months, certainly not too long for a grieving memory. Locked in my embrace, the boys yieldingly allowed my affection, smiling bravely and trying not to let on that they, for some reason, thought this to be a sad and regretful thing. But I knew. Ah, men. even at a young age, they are instinctively poised to hide their emotions. It must work for them.
My brother-in-law, relatively young, quite stable and now available, should not have difficulty easing back into the single life, as I thought would happen. Instead, he wears his loss about him like a badge that makes you want to keep distance and respect the mourning. And I don't blame him. My sister Susan was no ordinary woman -- beautiful, very smart, kind-hearted, funny, artistic and a mean cook , she was, among other things. I find her to be ambushing my thoughts these past two weeks, and now, I see her more and more as I look in the eyes of my middle, brooding, nephew, the one who looks like us, and who, she told me to particularly look after, shortly before she died.
Life goes on, surely, for all of us she left behind. Death, after all, happens every moment, everyday, to countless people like us who now have to cope with the loss and live on the spoils of memory. In time, the heaviness of heart will lighten, and the memories will fade. For now, we just have to do like the world revolved all along without her. Now, it does. And the hurting should come away. In time.
Filed Under: Mementoes
Tags: Susan Luis Aycardo
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