P

Category: Love

He looked very handsome asleep, this was what I thought looking down on my youngest brother, then in eternal repose, shortly before they brought him into the cremation chamber. This being a tragic subject, I at least want to sound like an expert, and relate that with cremations getting more hightech these days, all we had to do was sit around 1 1/2 hours (or so I was told, like it mattered) before they presented us the stack of white bone fragments, in varying shapes and sizes (certainly doesn't get any bigger than a fist) on a metal tray, yielded from the 2000 degrees Fahrenheit incineration of once living and breathing flesh, that were all that remained of my brother. I didn't notice if it was really 1 1/2 hours. It could have been 4, or 7, and wouldn't have made a difference. I'm still in a daze and feeling cold up to now.

P, that was his name, was a guy I wish I knew more of, considering that his life was so short, not even in his 40s. He was the guy who, by reason of his departure, now renders me as youngest in my family, when I originally started third to the last. This business of the younger ones passing away must be killing my mother, and leaves a lot of questions in her mind, which I myself would have asked, only if I hadn't known God. But then I know. I know Him enough to have asked Him earlier in the day to allow me to be able let go of my brother's earthly remains, and for Him not to let my heart be too broken when it was time for me to take that one final look, at my little brother, who looked so good in his sleep, and will always remain that way in my memory. I will miss him. Thankfully, God gives comfort enough to lighten what would have been this unbearable ache in my heart. Now I am crying, but I know it will go away in time.

I love you P. Way to go. I'll see you in heaven.